Friday, December 26

I am exhausted after yesterday.  This is nothing new, I usually am post Christmas, but I give myself permission to acknowledge it this year.  I am so glad I do not have to do chemo today.  I putter around all morning, cleaning up the Christmas aftermath, moving slow and resting often.

Kaileigh and Josh stop by before they leave for Boston.  They have spent the night at a friends house.  It is nice to hear about Josh's Christmas, since he was pretty tired when he came back from the Cape last night.  He was there for Christmas Eve, came back to be here for Christmas breakfast and went back to the Cape for the day.

Shortly after Josh and Kaileigh leave, Julie, David and his brother Peter stop by to say hello.  They have come east for the holiday, and have managed to squeeze in a visit.  Soon they will leave to meet up with David's other brother and his family along with Kaileigh, Josh, Ben and Helen to celebrate Christmas in  Concord.  From there the party will move on to the Christmas Revels in Cambridge.  They have an extra ticket, and have invited me to go.  I am thrilled at the invitation,  but I think it best to rest rather than do too much.  We have a short, sweet visit, catching up on as much as we can.  Time passes too quickly before they have to leave.  I am not sure when they will be back this way again.

Saturday

Steve does laundry, I get my haircut.  This seems to be our routine every six weeks or so.  After the haircut I have time to run to the mall to exchange a gift I bought that was too small.  I park in front of the Statehouse, in the spot closest to the mall.  I intend to run in quickly, but as I start walking, I realize my feet are feeling weird.  They have seemed odd going short distances lately, but now I find that they feel really strange in a hurried, longer stride.  It is as if my feet are padded with fluid.  They don't look swollen, and my shoes still fit, but they definitely are not normal.  I know this is a side effect of the chemo, but it surprises me.  Why all of a sudden now, I wonder.  I do the best I can to hurry, since I didn't add any time to the fifteen minutes that was already on the parking meter. It seems that rushing is currently not an option.

There is a birthday celebration for the little boy who lives next door to me.  It is his first birthday, and there are going to be crepes.  This sounds very interesting and  I am excited when I see the crepe truck in the driveway!   I go, but I don't end up eating,  I am not hungry.  I enjoy meeting family and friends of my neighbors and watching how they interact with one another.  They have such loving family and friends.  It is a joyful celebration to be a part of.

I make mitten and glove cookies this evening for the opening of the mitten tree at church tomorrow.  By the time I finish baking, it is late.  I will get up and decorate them in the morning.          

Sunday  Ayla's Birthday!

I do get up early to frost the mitten cookies.  Usually Kaileigh is here on school break to help me with this task, so this is the first year I am doing it on my own. It is not a difficult thing to do, it is just more fun to do it with Kaileigh.

I am the announcer at church this morning.  I think that I am going to be fine, as I have done this a few times in the past months, but I experience a momentary panic as I stand behind the lectern at the front of the church.  I recover, but realize that somehow being on chemo really did make me less nervous.  This side effect is not one that is taking long to fade.

Steve has come to church with me today, and when I am done with the opening of the service, I enjoy being able to sit beside him.  Today is our annual question and answer session with James.  At this service, he opens himself up to being asked about anything people might come up with.  Questions range from Unitarian Universalist spirituality to how we/he will cope when he retires later this year.  There is a large stack of question inscribed index cards that have been gathered during the morning collection, and he does his best to get through as many as he can.  He has expressed his nervousness about this service, but he does his job well.  He knows his stuff.

Shortly after the service is the opening of the mitten tree.  This is a tree that is in the front corner of the church near the street, that we hang hat. mittens, gloves, scarves and socks on.  Occasionally we will hang other warm items on the tree as well.

This idea for this tree was inspired by a children's book I had read several years ago.  It is a story of an woman who knits mittens for neighborhood children who don't have any.  There was a challenge by a former interim minister to sew seeds of goodness throughout our community.  If you had an idea, you simply raised your hand and were given an envelope.  There was either a note in the envelope wishing you luck in your endeavor, or a note and a check for one hundred dollars.  I had told Ayla about my idea for the mitten tree, and she thought it was a good one.  She raised her hand and received an envelope with a check in it.  With that I purchased yarn and knitting needles to start our mitten tree, and enlisted the help of our knitting group and anyone else willing to help.  Over the years, hundreds of warmings have hung on our tree, either knit by members of our congregation or friends, purchased new or gently used items no longer needed.  We have helped members of our community food share food pantry to keep warm, recent immigrants, homeless, nearby college students, and others we will never hear about.

In the beginning years of the mitten tree I had visions of trees throughout the city.  I inquired at other churches and libraries if people would be interested in creating more. I was never able to create any interest other than for our own UU tree.  This is okay though, it is enough for me.  And just as the seed of an idea grew to be a reality here, someone may be inspired somewhere else as well.  

Christmas Day

I didn't go to bed as late as I usually do on Christmas Eve, so I expect that I will be get up early, like four o'clock early.  I sleep until six.  In a different year, this would cause me a lot of panic.  I would be running around like crazy trying to get things done.  This year, I take it in stride.  I get up and start prioritizing.  I take things down stairs with me as I go, figuring that the most important thing is to check on Christmas stockings.  I have always done this first thing, just in case any helpers wake up early.  It is important to be sure that Santa has arrived to fill the stockings, just in case I am up too early.  I have never beaten Santa to the task yet.

This year the stockings are a little lean, there are the usual socks and underwear, some poprocks candy, a toothbrush and a piece of small jewelery for the girls, a small toy for Alex.  It is helpful that the clothing takes up so much room, the stockings are overflowing.  They look good anyway.

Steve hears me moving around and comes down to start cooking breakfast meats and chopping veggies.  I rearrange the kitchen with a toast station, and set up a beverage table in the living room.  We are hoping to have many people over for breakfast this morning.  This is a Christmas tradition we started when we moved into our house sixteen years ago.  We wanted to give something to our friends for Christmas, and decided to give them a place to come where we could feed them and show them how much we appreciate and love them.  It gives friends who travel a place to get a good place to begin, and for those with no place to go, a warm, lovely start to their day.

For us, it is a morning of hustle and bustle.  My children have enjoyed helping out to the extent that they don't even mind not opening stockings first thing in the morning.  In the beginning when they were younger we tried to get to them first, but after a while, it became more about the breakfast we were giving our friends than the gifts they were getting.

Everyone in the family has a job that has evolved into their own special contribution.  Kaileigh is the toast maker, Ayla makes the menu and takes orders.  For years her friend Hannah has helped take orders, but last year she moved to Amsterdam.  This year our niece Julia filled in for her.  Steve makes omelettes, Alex keeps an eye on the beverage table, and I keep up with the dishes, baked french toast, and anything else.  In between, we try to socialize with our guests, which depending on the time of morning can be a little or a lot.

Kaileigh and Josh are the first of my children to arrive.  Josh helps slice bagels, and we put self serve items on the table.  There are simple ice breaker games for people to play, although most of our friends are familiar with one another by now.  Kaileigh makes a fruit salad.  Ayla, Chauncey and Powder arrive next, Ayla hurries to dash off menus.  For some reason, we always leave this job for last, but Ayla always makes impressive hand written menus on the fly.  Alex is ready to help too jumping in where ever he is needed, directing the flow of the kitchen, drying dishes, anything.  We've got everything set up just as the first guests arrive at nine.

I am a little nervous only a few people will show, since neither Steve or I remembered to remind people in advance.  We always let our friends know they are invited whether or not we mention it, so we hope people will come by.  Just to be sure I send out a quick face book notice, which could mean we get even more people than ever.  I didn't do a specific invite, I invite the public.  In the end, we see about forty friends. 

Powder sporting her new sweater.

People are  encouraged to draw on the tablecloth.

This year, I shirked my duties in the kitchen and did more socializing than anything else.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the number of people in my house and find the kitchen a safe retreat, but this year, perhaps thanks to the chemo, I flit around happily chatting with friends and enjoying the good cheer.

Our last guests arrive around twelve, as we start to wrap things up.  It has been a busy, fun morning and we have seen many of our friends.  I think about friends who have moved away, are traveling or live too far away to join us. There are those who are no longer with us, like my mom and dad.  They are all loved and missed.

My sisters arrive with my nephew Brian just as we are getting the kitchen cleaned up. They bring in gifts and put them under the tree.  I start to make some broth for our dinner later today.  For the past few years we have tried to come up with ethnic themed dinners, this year we mix things up and go with food that needs to be dipped.  We will have a hot pot for the main course, with vegetables, pasta and meat that is dipped into a common hot pot of vegetable broth to cook, and fruit with chocolate fondu for dessert.  I throw a variety of vegetables and herbs into a large pot of broth and let it simmer while we open gifts.

Steve, my children, me, my sisters, Brian, Julia and Dan all gather in the living room,  each person usually choosing the same spot they may have occupied on this day for years. Our exchange is slow and deliberate; I hand out gifts, one at a time, and we watch and appreciate each gift that is opened before the next one is passed out.  It takes a while to unwrap things, sometimes it can be hours.  I don't know if we do things this way just because this was how my grandfather handled gift giving when we were children, but it seems like a much nicer way to go than to have everyone unwrap all their gifts at the same time.  There is time to pause and see how people like receiving what you have carefully chosen for them, rather than missing out because so much is going on.  It is peaceful and less chaotic.

It is fun to have my nephew Brian with us this year, he is four and so excited.  He becomes a great gift elf, delivering things to people across the room for me.  This keeps him busy until it is his turn to receive a gift, each item met with excitement and a gleeful smile. 

When our gift exchange is done, we try to get a feel for what people need to do for the rest of the rapidly disappearing afternoon.  We decide six is a good time for dinner.  Steve, Kaileigh and I start to work on chopping and prepping for dinner until everyone returns.

Even though dinner is approached with skepticism from some, it is a success.  There is some kind of food that everyone likes, and at the end of the meal, no one is hungry.

While some members of my family tune in to watch Dr. Who, the rest of us gather to play a new game, called Hit or Miss.  It is list making game, where you need to match as many or as few people as possible, depending on the roll of a die.  It is a fun way to end a very busy day.

Monday, December 22

Some children are away from daycare this week, others are visiting with us since they are done with school until the new year.  It turns out to be a nice little group with a mix of older friends and younger ones.  We make muddy buddies to put in the bowls we made for our parents.  It will be a nice treat for them to munch on during these last days of Hanukkah or on Christmas.

Tuesday

Today is big kids day.  Some of the younger children have brought their older siblings to daycare with them, and with the addition of some other visitors, the big kids outnumber the little ones.

It is the last day of Hanukkah, and we haven't even made latkes yet.  I just don't have the ambition to do this today.  They are so delicious, and make the house smell good, but most of the kids won't eat them, go figure.  What is not to like about potato pancakes?  Sara, Steven and I enjoy them, but we don't really need them, so I skip this activity this year.  I feel slightly guilty, but get over it when I realize the kids don't care.

We make candy houses instead, which is always a treat.  I take graham crackers, cut them into squares and glue them together with sugar.  The kids then cram as much candy onto their houses as they can hold.  This year, they are more interested in eating the chex and kix cereal than the candy.  What a remarkable bunch of kids!

In the evening it is just me and Linda at knitting.  It is such a busy time of year for everyone, we knew there wouldn't be many people around.  It is nice to have this one time and place that is calm in these days before the holiday.  Linda has brought cookies once again, and we enjoy them as we knit.

Wednesday

This is the last day of daycare before our holiday break.  We are open most of the year, Monday through Friday, closing on most of the federal holidays.  Sara and I take the week between Christmas and New Years Day off every year.  Since the year starts on Thursday, we are taking Friday off as well. It gives us the chance to rest and recuperate from the holidays.  When my children were younger, it also gave me some time to spend with then on their break. It is a time I look forward to every year.

There are only a few kids today, so I send Sara home after stories.  My nephew Brian, and sisters Jill and Sara are free to start their Christmas eve celebration early.  The few children I have are here until four, which even gives me a head start on Christmas eve.  Once they are picked up, I call let my kids know that I am free, and we meet up with some friends at the Gourmet House for a Christmas eve dinner.  After that we to go see the movie Annie.

This is not the way we traditionally spend this evening.  Our family usually meets with Steven's brothers families' at their mom's house, but this year things didn't work out.  We decided that our immediate family would instead spend the night together having Chinese food and taking in a movie.  Alex is spending the evening with Filipa and her family, and Josh and Chauncey are off visiting theirs.  Julia comes with us, and with our friends, we are a long happy table.  We talk and joke and draw on the paper table cover.  We converse as well as we can, share our fortunes and have a happy time.  We part with hugs for all, although we know we will be together again for breakfast in the morning. They have decided to forgo the movie, since there are still preparations to be done for tomorrow.  We also have much to do, but somehow it will all get done in time.  We drive to the mall to see our movie.

Annie didn't have great reviews, but we all agree it is a fun uplifting movie worth seeing. We all thought there were some strange musical choices made in the updating of the movie, some of the songs didn't fit the story, but those songs didn't detract from our enjoyment of the film too much.  Even Steven, the only male in our group agreed it was a fun movie.

It is not too late when we get out of the theater, so when we get home I start getting the house ready for tomorrow.  I vacuum and set the table, and hide the accumulated odds and ends from daycare that take up room in my house.  Some things are left undone, this is okay.   My house doesn't have to be the neatest house right now, the important thing is that everyone will be together. 

Saturday, December 20

This morning Sean and I go out to the Modern Diner for breakfast.   We are supposed to be talking about our experiences with cancer, but instead talk about many other things.  I know Sean from church, he was my Alex's mentor when he was in the eighth grade coming of age class. I don't see people who go to Sunday services that often, since I am usually in the kindergarten classroom.  Sean has been cheering me on throughout my cancer journey, and we decided it might be nice to talk in person, rather than on line. 

If you have never been to the Modern Diner for breakfast, it is well worth a visit sometime.  They have one of the most extensive omlet menu's I have ever seen, serving combinations like bree with apple and maple bacon;  kilbasa and cheddar, and many other delicious combinations.  It is all served up in a1940's era dining car, with cool art deco details.  Not in the mood for an omlet, both Sean and I  got eggs with corned beef hash, toast and hash browns.  Great minds think alike.

I finish up most of my holiday shopping on Hope Street in the afternoon.

Sunday

I am a greeter at church this morning.

The atmosphere is very festive today, everyone is excited about our pick up Christmas pageant.   This is the Christmas story told with a Unitarian Universalist twist.  While the story is being told, children from different grades come to the back of the church and get into costume to take a part in the play.  Since I am already near the entrance of the church, I help out with the costuming.  We have many of the usual characters, then add in some of our own.  A dancing and twirling second grade angel leads a parade down the center aisle, followed by the littlest angel, a toddling one year old barefoot love who has recently learned to walk.  We quickly help the children and adults find costume pieces and send them off toward the manger scene.  Our special baby is a tiny infant, one of the newest members of our congregation.  There is also a big brother in the manger scene, keeping a careful watch over his baby, with Mom and Dad.

There are traditional hymns sung at appropriate places throughout the play, ending with our star of wonder, carried down the aisle by a boy high above the ground on his father's shoulders.  A star of wonder indeed.

Once the pageant is over, Steve picks me up so I can be freed from my chemo pump.  I take a short nap and then Steven, Alex,  Filipa and I go hunting for a tree.  For years we have had good luck buying one on the twenty first at the old farmer's market behind the Paul Cuffee school in Providence, but for the last couple we haven't able to find it.  We thought it might have moved, but when I was out that way last week I noted there was a tree stand, the same one we used to buy from.  We head over to find it today, and there is no trace of it having been there.  Am I imagining things?

We go out to Atwood Avenue in Johnston.  I saw a stand out this way when we visited Dr. Lentrichia last week.  This turns out to be a good choice, since all of the trees on the lot are on sale today.  My feet are hurting again, so I opt to stay in the car while Steven, Alex and Filipa choose a tree.  They find a beauty, and the attendant cuts it down to size for us.  When we get home we place it in the tree stand and bring the decorations up out of the basement. 

This evening my family and I will eat dinner and decorate the tree by candlelight as we celebrate the winter solstice.  It is not often that I have this day off from work, so it is nice to have extra time to prepare things in the light of day.  Once the sun goes down we only use candles to light our way.  We have celebrated the solstice with our children since they were very young.  It was our own special holiday that no one else in the family celebrated, a way to be together just for a short uninterrupted time in a season filled with so many out of our house celebrations.  We still celebrate Christmas with our friends and extended family, but this has always been our own special family time.

Ayla is working until six, so Alex, Steven and Kaileigh help to prepare dinner while we are waiting.  Steve gets our lasagne ready, Kaileigh makes up a salad, and Alex bakes some brownies.  I get the table set, and the sun starts to sink in the sky.  We light our first candle, and Filipa makes a wish.  We take turns making wishes as we fill the kitchen with light. Soon Ayla and Chauncey arrive.  We eat a leisurely and save dessert until we are finished decorating the tree. Ayla and Filipa put the lights on, then we all help hang ornaments.  We have a lot of decorations, but we manage to get them all on the tree.

We take a break for some peppermint stick ice cream brownie sundaes.  I have forgotten to buy whipped cream thinking that the can in the fridge is full, but find it is almost empty.  We hope it will last for all of our sundaes, and somehow, it does.

Once Julia gets home from work, we move into the living room and gather up our gifts for each other.  We pass things out one at a time, taking turns and watching as each person opens their gift.  It is such a lovely, intimate way to celebrate. I love our solstice together. 

Friday, December 19: The last Folfox

I get up early and take my last shower for the next few days.  I try to get everything together that I will need today, I don't want to forget anything.  I am not in the mood for the sandwich cart, so I bring some grapes and cheese with me.

My appointment is at eight twenty which means I could get out early if all goes well.

Today is supposed to be my last folfox treatment.  Steve and I talk about it as we walk in.  I am nervous that my white blood count will be too low today.  I am afraid they won't be able to treat me.

 Steven and I split up at Fifth Street.  He goes on to Seven Stars to get me some olive bread to have with my lunch, I head over to the Fain building.  Faye takes me in as soon as I get registered, and since I am one of the first in, I get my pick of all the rooms.  Because they are expecting such a busy day today, we are in the Mega suite, and I choose the same penthouse pod I had last time.

I get my blood drawn and then see Bess to get have my blood pressure checked and get weighed.  My blood pressure is very low.  If only I could give a little of my low blood pressure to Steve.  My weight is back to where it was pre-all of this stuff happening.  Even a couple of pounds more.  I liked it when it was a few pounds less, but know my current weight is good.  It is better to be a little over before I have surgery.

We wait for Dr. Safran to see us.  He tells me my white blood cell count is a little low, but he thinks it will be okay to treat me anyway.  It is close to borderline, which he decides is good enough.  He tells me that even though this is to be my last folfox for now, the side effects will most likely continue to get worse before they get better.  I can expect them to worsen over the next two months, then they should gradually subside.

I ask if he has counted the spots on my liver, and he invites me to see my scans, the first from June and the second from October.  In the first scan, there are a lot of spots on my liver.  A. Lot.  There is a big blotch where those veins are exiting my liver.  It looks pretty scary.  I can't believe how bad it looks.  In the scan from October, things have shrunken down considerably, but it is still pretty messy looking.  The last scan was six weeks ago.  I will have another on twenty ninth to see how things look now.

We discuss the liver and the colon surgery.  It looks like Dr. Charpentier and Dr. Lentrichia don't operate in the same hospitals.  I tell Dr. Safran that I don't want to switch surgeons, that I would like Dr. Lentrichia to repair my colon, even if it means an extra surgery.  He likes this idea.

We make an appointment for the thirty first, New Years Eve.  By then he will have the results of my CT scan, and we can make a plan for the next phase of my treatment.  I think this will be a good way to end this year.

While I am getting my chemo, Dr. Safran stops by to tell me my cea level is two.  In a person without cancer, five or below is considered normal.  This is more good news.

In the evening, Kaileigh, Alex, Steven, Jill, Brian, and I take Sara out to Flatbread Pizza to celebrate her birthday.  None of us have been here before, and we enjoy everything about it.  We finish our meal with some cupcakes and a round of Happy Birthday.

This has been a most excellent day.

Sunday, December 14

When I get to church this morning, the first person I run into is Martha.  She has something for me.  She was hoping to give it to me last night, but she didn't see me.  I wondered what she was talking about.  She had been to the Sr. High Youth Group Coffee House.  It had completely slipped my mind.  I had every intention of going to that, and then, completely forgot about it.  Completely.  Chemo brain is such a weird thing.  I hope that when I am done with this my memory comes back.

Martha gives me a bag with something wrapped in tissue paper.  When I slowly unfurl the paper, I find a fine red felt fox.  She is beautiful.  Martha runs the Girl Effect sale, and saw her when she was ordering.  She only ordered one, just for me.  This is just the sweetest thing.  I think I will name her Martha.

It is funny, because I looked at the felted animals that were available at the sale and thought that if there were a fox I just might have to get one.  Martha is a foxy one!

We learn about Hanukkah in Sunday school today.  We play dreidel and make some paper menorahs to help us celebrate when it begins on Tuesday.  It is our last class before we break for two weeks, so we also make felt Christmas Trees.  The children are all so excited about the holidays.  Some of then celebrate both, some are just learning about Hanukkah.  It is a magical time of year, anyway you celebrate it.

By the time I leave church, my feet are so achy, and I don't feel so well.  I am invited to a birthday party for one of my daycare children, but decide it will be best to go home and take a nap.  Friday I am supposed to get my last folfox treatment, and I don't want to push myself and get sick.  Instead I go home and take a long nap.

When I awaken, I still don't feel that well, and my sisters are coming over for dinner this evening.  With much help from Ayla and Alex, we manage to get everything ready before they arrive.  My sister Jill had a birthday just after Thanksgiving, so we are having a little party for her.  She doesn't know, so it will be a surprise for her.  Ayla makes one of my sister's favorite meals, mac and cheese with sausages and broccoli.  For dessert, a cake from Pastiche of course! It is a delicious celebration.
After dinner we test out a game for the table on Christmas morning. It is called WhatchamaDraw it.  There are cards with drawing cues on them, things like draw an animal that has a chicken head, a pineapple body and duck feet.  You then have three minutes to draw.  It is hysterical to see what each person comes up with.  There is a competitive facet to the game, but we chose to enjoy each creation rather than be judged.  We do challenge one person to figure out who has drawn what.  This makes it very interesting.

While everyone is still playing, I go out driving with Allie.  We need to get some night time driving in, and is not just dark, but also a little rainy. 

When I get home, Steven and the kids are still playing the same game.  It is sure to be a hit on Christmas. 

Monday

Allie and I go to driving this evening.  She takes me to Bed Bath and Beyond to do some Christmas shopping.  She is very helpful in advising me about a gift I want to get for my sister Sara.  Since we are in Seekonk, we decide to go to Target too.  I am on a mission to find a hot water bottle for someone with cold feet.  At both Bed Bath and Beyond and Target the sales people think I am talking about one of those sippy cups grownups carry tea or coffee around in.  This is very amusing.  Neither store has what I am looking for though.

Tuesday

We make paper Hanukkah menorahs today.  They are made using rectangles of paper for the candles, pasted onto a backround which has a larger rectangle menorah.  We keep one candle which has a paper flame on it stored on the back of the paper in a pocket with the flames for the other candles.  This is the shammos candle, the one which is used to light all of the other candles.  Each night, the children can light one more candle until they are all lit.  This evening is the first night, so everyone will have a paper candle to light.  We also play dreidel with chocolate gelt.  This is so popular, even my two year olds figure out how to spin the top to play.

In the evening I have knitting, although I arrive late.  I don't get much knitting done, but I do get to eat cookies!  Linda has been baking and brought some in to share.  Lonnie, Sarah and I make a good dent in the cookie supply.  Someone has left some yarn for us today, a nice bag full.  It has some good soft wool that will be perfect for items for our mitten tree, and some needles that will come in handy when we teach newbies how to knit.

Wednesday

I have a nine thirty appointment with Dr. Lentrichia today. He does the usual inspection of my belly, my bag and my stoma.  Everything looks good.  We talk about my chemo and how that is going.  I tell him about my visit to the liver surgeon, my MRI,  and my last visit with Dr. Safran back in October.  It all seems so long ago.

He tells me he has had patients who have had great success with the folfox treatments.  When things go very well with the treatments he tells me there is often nothing there to remove when he checks in on their colon.  He thinks this may be the case with me.  This is great news.  I love that Dr.  Lentrichia always takes time to sit down and understand what is going on with me.  I appreciate his attention and sympathy to my situation.

I leave with an appointment for next month, and a big hug.

When I get home, I find that I an locked out.  I have dropped Steven off downtown to cover a story, and forgot that I didn't take my keys on the way out.  My feet are still feeling funny, so I sit in the car and clean out my handbag while I wait for Sara and Alex to return.

In the evening, Julia and I go shopping on Thayer St.  I am still looking for that hot water bottle and am sure Pleasant Surprise is the place to find a cute one that looks like some kind of cute animal.  I don't have any luck, but we do have a good time.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Today is my grandmother's funeral.  I have given Sara the day off so she can go to the whole thing.  Steven and Filipa will cover for me so I can go to the morning service and the grave.  I get to the funeral home just before they leave for the church service, so I am directed to get in the car line up and wait.  I am glad I have joined the procession, since I have no idea where the church is.

When I arrive at St. Aidan's, my two sisters are already seated in the last row.  I join them and we wait for the service to begin.  From this vantage point, we will know what to do, when to sit, when to stand.  It will be much easier than the last time we were in a catholic church together.

The church is large, not the same one I remember visiting with Grandma when I was younger.  It has lots of light and colorful stained glass windows.  It is very clean and modern.  When the priest comes in I notice his vestment is adorned with the same floral pattern that embellishes the cloth they cover the casket with.   This seems like such a fancy detail to attend to for such a somber event, but it looks nice.

The drive to the cemetery is full of twists and turns, and I wonder if I will find my way out.  The cemetery is maintained by a local Catholic parish.  It is nestled in a neighborhood of ranch houses, not far from the Massachusetts border.  It is long and narrow, growing wider and more dense as you travel down Curran Road to the main part of the cemetery.  My grandmother is to be buried next to my grandfather, Fredrick W. Boyd Jr, who my father was named after.  His grave is located in an older, less dense section of the cemetery. Curran road runs along one side here, and some woods on the other.  The surrounding area is more interesting than the main section where there is nothing to be seen but graves in every direction.

 It is cold and the sky has been threatening to snow all morning.  As we arrive,  gentle white flakes start to fall.   The funeral director hands out umbrellas to people as we pass by.  The casket is already in place by the time I join the group of family and friends gathered. The priest says a few final words, and invites everyone to the Filibuster club for refreshments.

I stop to give hugs to family before I returning home.  As people file out away from the graveside, a group of young women have gathered around a basket of flowers set by the casket.  They are plucking pink roses from the large arrangement, because their Nana would have insisted on it.  They are laughing as they say this, uttering the same words they have heard her say in the past and knowing this is just what would have made her happy.

t doesn't take me too long to find my way back to familiar roads as I leave.  I blast the heat and am grateful for the hand warmers hidden in my mittens.  I return home to happy children, just in time to start lunch.

I skip stained glass this evening so I can spend some time with Julia.  I don't want her to feel like she has moved into a house where we will not be here for her.  She goes out to have dinner with Ayla and Chauncey, so I work on the basement until she gets home.  We talk until we are too tired to talk any more, then go to bed.

Friday

All is back to normal this morning.  In the evening, we go to see The Hunger Games movie with Ayla, Chauncey and Julia.

Saturday

I clean the basement for a little before going shopping with Anna, then do a little more after.  Everything that was wet is out now, and the floor is dry.  I am still trying to dry out the area rug that is down there so I can remove that.  There are so many things that need to be sorted and gone through still.  I have a mountain of craft supplies, wrapping paper. games and other odds and ends piled on the table the rug is on.  Time to start sorting and putting things away.  I do this for as long as I can before I get too bored, cold or tired.

In the afternoon we go to my friend Elizabeth's to bake Christmas cookies.  She supplies the sugar cookie dough, I bring the gingersnap dough.  Our children, her four, my three, Josh and Chauncey cut and decorate the cookies.  Elizabeth and I get them baked and cooled and try to keep the mess under control.

We started baking cookies together when our kids were much younger and always enjoyed it so much.  We haven't been able to get everyone together for the last few years, but this year through the determination of Ayla and Malani we found a time that would work for everyone.

Before starting our production we power up on some delicious Indian food Elizabeth and Sundar, her husband have prepared. We feast on home made dosas, thalis and somosas I have picked up from Not Just Snacks.  Once we are filled with good food, it is time for the cookie making to begin!

Cutting out the cookies is done as quickly as possible, so the kids can get to their favorite part,  decorating.  This is always fun, as everyone comes up with their own style and theme.  Alex has cut out a few shapes by hand and creates some very unique treats.  Some add accents with candies, others are just into the frosting, which can range from lightly iced to loaded.  In the end they are all colorful, fun, and most important, delicious.



I