June 26, 2015
This is the day of my last chemo session.
I am so ready for this day, although it is hard to get ready to go in for my treatment. There is this huge psychological piece of chemo that is really difficult for me to deal with. There are sounds and smells, even thoughts that go along with all of this that make it hard for me to get to where I need to be; at the Miriam, Fain 3 at 8:00am this morning. I fight all of the fear inside my body, and get myself there on time. This is the last one, this is the last one, has become the mantra playing in my head.
I walk myself over and manage to get in on time. I had wanted to bring the nurses a treat, but didn't leave early enough to do so. Another time, I think and then remind myself that this is the last one. I don't need to come back for more of this. What a strange thought. For the past YEAR, as it is two weeks shy of when I started my first treatment, I have been coming to this place every other Friday, with only a short break for my ostomy reconnection. It has been a time of reflection, discovery, and focus.
I have been with the same group of nurses for this entire time, with only a few exceptions. One nurse, Cassie, left for another position in the hospital. The other nurses on my team, Carolyn, Jenn, Tracy and Faye, have been a constant source of support, besides being there to make sure I get the drugs I need. They have all listened to me explain and complain about how I have been feeling. They have adjusted the IV pumps that push the medicine into me, and brought me warm blankets when I was cold. They are patient, and incredibly kind. It makes me somewhat sad to be saying goodbye to them, even though I can stop by to see them if I need to. I know this is probably unlikely though.
I am disappointed Faye is not on today. She has been my main nurse, from day one. Faye has taken good care of me, we have shared bits and pieces of our year together, and I will miss hearing about what she has been up to and how her family is doing. I am Tracy's patient today. When I choose my pod, she tells me she will make sure Carol knows where I am, and saves the one next door for her.
There is a long wait for me to go in to get my vitals taken this morning. Even though I was one of the first people in, through some mix up, I wait for a long time. I don't really mind. I don't have anywhere else to be, and my friend Nancy is coming to sit with me today. She arrives before I am called out of the waiting area, so she can accompany me in to the exam room and meet Dr. Safran. He congratulates me on making it this far. It turns out that most people aren't able to tolerate so many treatments. He is happy that I look good and that my new goal is to getting strong again. Ever since the snowy winter, I have been making little effort to exercise. I have this funny shaped belly now that I am not happy about, so I am going to try and exercise it away. At least I think I am.
During this visit, I ask him what the chances are of my cancer coming back are. I am somewhat taken aback when he tells me it is around eighty percent. I am disappointed that it is such a high number. He tells me that it is really difficult to know without a doubt if we have defeated every cancer cell. I am scheduled for a pet scan on July 2nd, so if I call the next day, he will be able to tell me how things look, if the cancer is in remission or not. I also have an appointment for the following Tuesday to go over our new plan.
I ask if there is anything I should be doing to keep the cancer at bay. There are so many unknowns with this disease, but two things that seem to be consistently linked are the consumption of red meat, and charbroiled foods.
When I get back to my pod, Carol is in her chair next door. I pull the dividing wall back to open up our two pods so we can talk. I introduce her to my friend Nancy, and we sit all sit and talk until it is time to get hooked up. At one point the lunch Lenore, the lunch lady, and an new assistant, come by to offer us some food. Of course the thought of it makes my stomach lurch, but when I realize I can take mine and give it to Nancy, I quickly ask for a turkey sandwich and then wait until they leave to hand it over. We all look so cozy there, like we are having a little party, that we need to remind the lunch ladies that Carol is a patient deserving of lunch too. I guess this is a testament to how good we both look!
As I sit in my chair, I start to feel dopey and not very well. It is so good to have the distraction of a friend to help me get through this. We talk and I try to ignore how rotten I am feeling. In what has got to be one of the best cases of good timing ever, Steve walks in just as I am getting ready to leave. I give Carol a hug and wish her well. We have exchanged email and phone info so we can keep in touch. I give each of my nurses each a hug too. I know that at some point I will probably see them again, since I will have visits with Dr. Safran, and then possibly other kinds of treatments, but this is the last chemo, hopefully ever.
Nancy has driven over, so she gives Steve and I a ride back to our house, where I can't get to bed fast enough. As I lay in my bed with a pillow covering my eyes, I see lines like cross hatching. At one point I feel as if I am seeing all of the lines around the iris of my eyes, when it occurs to me that I am probably having a migraine. My head doesn't hurt, but my stomach feels awful. I have decided not to take the nausea med this time, because the last time I opened the bottle, the smell of it made me feel like throwing up. I wasn't feeling any better or worse than I had when I was taking it. The only thing that would make me feel better for sure, is a good long nap.
In June 2014, I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma. What this means in regular language is that I have colon cancer. It has also spread to my liver. I am currently being treated for stage 4 liver cancer. Here is my story...
Showing posts with label Chemo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chemo. Show all posts
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Chemo part 2, Number 8: Port Clogged continued
Nancy and Rasika sit with me through my chemo routine. Rasika has brought me some treats from Seven Stars Bakery which contain ginger, with the hope they will calm my nauseous stomach. There are two ginger scones and a ginger star. Normally I would describe these treats to you, and tell you how delicious these are, but my stomach is so unhappy with the very thought of food. I tuck the bags away and don't even think to share my treasures until Rasika has left. She had brought two scones, I should have offered her one.
Rasika leaves shortly before the lunch cart arrives. Once again Lenore, the lunch lady pushes her cart past my pod, parking it out of my sight before coming back to visit. She wants to hear about my knitting adventures, which I have none to share. It is so lovely of her to ask though, and her understanding of my current food aversion is so appreciated.
I try to ignore the smells of food surrounding me, drifting in from other patients pods. I decide putting some food in my stomach might help settle it. I give Nancy a scone and take a few bites out of my ginger star. It is not quite the right thing, but I remember I have some some dark chocolate scorched almonds Rasika brought from Australia in my backpack. Four of these and I feel a little more settled.
Nancy pulls out her backpack and shows me the entertainments she has brought. She has games, and a map so we can plan an upcoming trip around RI we want to take. We attempt to visit the thirty nine cities and towns in the state, all in one day. Since stopping to take photos in each town with landmarks is part of our goal, we need to plan our route carefully. The tricky part will be getting to Block Island and back. It's not far, but ferrying over, getting off to get photos, and catching the next ferry back without getting distracted could be a challenge. It will be fun to see how long it all takes, our own mini Amazing Race.
Before we decide which activity to do, Nancy needs to step away for a few minutes. I take this opportunity to go next door and visit Carol. She tells me about her vacation, and how she managed with her neuropathy. It sounds like she had a nice, relaxing time. She has received some good news from Dr. Safran today too, so I help her celebrate by sharing my ginger scone with her. Nancy hangs out with us while Carol and I finish catching up, but before too long, I need to return to my chair because my head feels weird. Not anything new, just the usual drugs are being pumped into my body weird.
Nancy and I never end up doing anything she has brought, we just sit and talk. I get spacy, and though I try not to show it I am sure it must be kind of funny. She stays with me right to the end of my treatment, and gives me a ride home. When we arrive at the front of my house, we are greeted by a riot of color on my sidewalk. I have been chalk bombed again.
Wow.
Thanks Rasika, Sanji, Chaya, Brett, Willa, Jasper, Hazel,Thomas, Phoebe, and Alex T and the Mooslazi clan!
Way to make a person feel loved!
Rasika leaves shortly before the lunch cart arrives. Once again Lenore, the lunch lady pushes her cart past my pod, parking it out of my sight before coming back to visit. She wants to hear about my knitting adventures, which I have none to share. It is so lovely of her to ask though, and her understanding of my current food aversion is so appreciated.
I try to ignore the smells of food surrounding me, drifting in from other patients pods. I decide putting some food in my stomach might help settle it. I give Nancy a scone and take a few bites out of my ginger star. It is not quite the right thing, but I remember I have some some dark chocolate scorched almonds Rasika brought from Australia in my backpack. Four of these and I feel a little more settled.
Nancy pulls out her backpack and shows me the entertainments she has brought. She has games, and a map so we can plan an upcoming trip around RI we want to take. We attempt to visit the thirty nine cities and towns in the state, all in one day. Since stopping to take photos in each town with landmarks is part of our goal, we need to plan our route carefully. The tricky part will be getting to Block Island and back. It's not far, but ferrying over, getting off to get photos, and catching the next ferry back without getting distracted could be a challenge. It will be fun to see how long it all takes, our own mini Amazing Race.
Before we decide which activity to do, Nancy needs to step away for a few minutes. I take this opportunity to go next door and visit Carol. She tells me about her vacation, and how she managed with her neuropathy. It sounds like she had a nice, relaxing time. She has received some good news from Dr. Safran today too, so I help her celebrate by sharing my ginger scone with her. Nancy hangs out with us while Carol and I finish catching up, but before too long, I need to return to my chair because my head feels weird. Not anything new, just the usual drugs are being pumped into my body weird.
Nancy and I never end up doing anything she has brought, we just sit and talk. I get spacy, and though I try not to show it I am sure it must be kind of funny. She stays with me right to the end of my treatment, and gives me a ride home. When we arrive at the front of my house, we are greeted by a riot of color on my sidewalk. I have been chalk bombed again.
Wow.
Thanks Rasika, Sanji, Chaya, Brett, Willa, Jasper, Hazel,Thomas, Phoebe, and Alex T and the Mooslazi clan!
Way to make a person feel loved!
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Monday, December 29
This is my vacation week, I don't have any little ones until next Monday. I am going to spend my vacation trying to get some of the cleaning done that has been ignored for so long. My friend Anna is leaving today for her vacation, and has left her car with me. I am very happy about this, since I will be able to make runs to Savers and the recycling facility that I don't get to on weekends.
I have a ct scan at four today, and have to remember not to eat after two o'clock. My scan is at Miriam, which is very convenient. Kaileigh, Steven and I walk over to the hospital where we learn I am the last scan of the day. This makes me think they squeezed me in. There had been a paperwork mix up in the scheduling, and it took a couple of days to get things straightened out.
This will be the scan which shows just how well my Folfox treatments have worked.
This ct room is quiet compared to the other I visited. I don't ask, but I attribute this to newer, greener technology I have read about with the cooling system. This makes the whole experience more relaxing. No loud whooshing sounds.
The drill here is the same as every other time. There is a bed to climb on which slides into the large donut shaped ct machine. I have forgotten to wear pants without metal, but rather than having to change into a johnny, I am covered with a blanket and asked to pull my pants down below my knees.
I get an IV solution in my arm of contrast dye, the one that makes you feel like you might need to pee. The bed slides into the circle of hard plastic up to my shoulders, and slides out. I am instructed by a recorded voice to hold my breath and slowly it slides in again. I notice two emoticon symbols above the bed. One means inhale and hold, the other means breathe. I don't remember seeing these on the other machine I used. Just as my chest finishes going through the donut, I am instructed to breathe again. We repeat this whole process again one more time, and then I am done. It seems to go faster than the last two I have had.
In the evening Kaileigh, Steven and I go to see the movie Big Eyes. It is a good movie, and it was fun to see the big eyed style of paintings, much like those that hung in my bedroom as a child.
Tuesday
Julia and I go to the registry to get her car registered. We have a very frustrating experience. We arrive just before it opens so we won't be there all day, and in the end we leave without accomplishing our task. Most of the people we deal with are surly and unfriendly, surprising since we can only be the second or third person they have seen so far today. The most helpful people we meet are a woman who was there on business, and a woman at the return ticket desk. She was kind and clearly described what we need to do to get Julia's car registered. We need a signature from her mom, so I arrange to meet with her later.
I return home to my cleaning projects. Just before dinner leave to meet with my sister in law at a bank to get her signature notarized on the car registration form. I manage to do this, drop Steven at a meeting, and make it to knitting on time. I don't end up having time to eat, but find some chips in the church kitchen to tide me over until I get home. Ayla and her friend Malani are coming to learn to knit this evening. It is fun to have new knitters join us. I have forgotten that Malani is left handed, but I figure out how to show her a knit stitch.
Wednesday
I return to the DMV with Julia and Steve. We go in later in the morning, and our experience today is far nicer than it was yesterday. I don't know if it is the holiday tonight, but everyone is very helpful. We manage to register Julia's car with no further problems, renew Steven's license and get out of there in an hour and a half. Surely this must be a record.
As we are driving home, Kaileigh calls. She is already at our house waiting to go with me to see Dr. Safran. By the time we get home, there is only a short time before I need to leave for Fain 3. We walk over, I register, get my blood drawn, and my vitals taken. Kaileigh, Steven and I are all shown to one of the exam rooms to wait for Dr. Safran. While we are waiting, one of the teaching nurses comes in to visit with me. She asks how I have been doing, and how my other doctor's visits have been. She tells me Dr. Safran has good news to tell me about my ct scan.
Dr. Safran comes in accompanied by Megan, his resident, and and the nurse who had just visited me. He asks me if I want to see my scan. We go to his computer and and he shows me the scan from October, then the scan from Monday. It is hard to believe this is the same liver. There are no spots, no large tumor obstructing my vein. Everything is gone, my liver looks clean. It is like some kind of magic trick has been performed and my liver has been switched.
We go back to the exam room and Dr. Safran tells me we can plan on reattaching my colon now. After that is done, at the end of February, we will meet again to see how my recovery is going. If things look good, we will discuss starting another round of chemo, which will last about six more months.
I have done it. I have made it through all of my folfox treatments and come out the other side with a clean liver, all by the end of the year. This is by no means the end, but it is one wonderful way to end a year that has been difficult, and start the 2015 with renewed purpose and energy. An upbeat beginning to a new chapter.
I have a ct scan at four today, and have to remember not to eat after two o'clock. My scan is at Miriam, which is very convenient. Kaileigh, Steven and I walk over to the hospital where we learn I am the last scan of the day. This makes me think they squeezed me in. There had been a paperwork mix up in the scheduling, and it took a couple of days to get things straightened out.
This will be the scan which shows just how well my Folfox treatments have worked.
This ct room is quiet compared to the other I visited. I don't ask, but I attribute this to newer, greener technology I have read about with the cooling system. This makes the whole experience more relaxing. No loud whooshing sounds.
The drill here is the same as every other time. There is a bed to climb on which slides into the large donut shaped ct machine. I have forgotten to wear pants without metal, but rather than having to change into a johnny, I am covered with a blanket and asked to pull my pants down below my knees.
I get an IV solution in my arm of contrast dye, the one that makes you feel like you might need to pee. The bed slides into the circle of hard plastic up to my shoulders, and slides out. I am instructed by a recorded voice to hold my breath and slowly it slides in again. I notice two emoticon symbols above the bed. One means inhale and hold, the other means breathe. I don't remember seeing these on the other machine I used. Just as my chest finishes going through the donut, I am instructed to breathe again. We repeat this whole process again one more time, and then I am done. It seems to go faster than the last two I have had.
In the evening Kaileigh, Steven and I go to see the movie Big Eyes. It is a good movie, and it was fun to see the big eyed style of paintings, much like those that hung in my bedroom as a child.
Tuesday
Julia and I go to the registry to get her car registered. We have a very frustrating experience. We arrive just before it opens so we won't be there all day, and in the end we leave without accomplishing our task. Most of the people we deal with are surly and unfriendly, surprising since we can only be the second or third person they have seen so far today. The most helpful people we meet are a woman who was there on business, and a woman at the return ticket desk. She was kind and clearly described what we need to do to get Julia's car registered. We need a signature from her mom, so I arrange to meet with her later.
I return home to my cleaning projects. Just before dinner leave to meet with my sister in law at a bank to get her signature notarized on the car registration form. I manage to do this, drop Steven at a meeting, and make it to knitting on time. I don't end up having time to eat, but find some chips in the church kitchen to tide me over until I get home. Ayla and her friend Malani are coming to learn to knit this evening. It is fun to have new knitters join us. I have forgotten that Malani is left handed, but I figure out how to show her a knit stitch.
Wednesday
I return to the DMV with Julia and Steve. We go in later in the morning, and our experience today is far nicer than it was yesterday. I don't know if it is the holiday tonight, but everyone is very helpful. We manage to register Julia's car with no further problems, renew Steven's license and get out of there in an hour and a half. Surely this must be a record.
As we are driving home, Kaileigh calls. She is already at our house waiting to go with me to see Dr. Safran. By the time we get home, there is only a short time before I need to leave for Fain 3. We walk over, I register, get my blood drawn, and my vitals taken. Kaileigh, Steven and I are all shown to one of the exam rooms to wait for Dr. Safran. While we are waiting, one of the teaching nurses comes in to visit with me. She asks how I have been doing, and how my other doctor's visits have been. She tells me Dr. Safran has good news to tell me about my ct scan.
Dr. Safran comes in accompanied by Megan, his resident, and and the nurse who had just visited me. He asks me if I want to see my scan. We go to his computer and and he shows me the scan from October, then the scan from Monday. It is hard to believe this is the same liver. There are no spots, no large tumor obstructing my vein. Everything is gone, my liver looks clean. It is like some kind of magic trick has been performed and my liver has been switched.
We go back to the exam room and Dr. Safran tells me we can plan on reattaching my colon now. After that is done, at the end of February, we will meet again to see how my recovery is going. If things look good, we will discuss starting another round of chemo, which will last about six more months.
I have done it. I have made it through all of my folfox treatments and come out the other side with a clean liver, all by the end of the year. This is by no means the end, but it is one wonderful way to end a year that has been difficult, and start the 2015 with renewed purpose and energy. An upbeat beginning to a new chapter.
Friday, January 2, 2015
Sunday, December 14
When I get to church this morning, the first person I run into is Martha. She has something for me. She was hoping to give it to me last night, but she didn't see me. I wondered what she was talking about. She had been to the Sr. High Youth Group Coffee House. It had completely slipped my mind. I had every intention of going to that, and then, completely forgot about it. Completely. Chemo brain is such a weird thing. I hope that when I am done with this my memory comes back.
Martha gives me a bag with something wrapped in tissue paper. When I slowly unfurl the paper, I find a fine red felt fox. She is beautiful. Martha runs the Girl Effect sale, and saw her when she was ordering. She only ordered one, just for me. This is just the sweetest thing. I think I will name her Martha.
It is funny, because I looked at the felted animals that were available at the sale and thought that if there were a fox I just might have to get one. Martha is a foxy one!
We learn about Hanukkah in Sunday school today. We play dreidel and make some paper menorahs to help us celebrate when it begins on Tuesday. It is our last class before we break for two weeks, so we also make felt Christmas Trees. The children are all so excited about the holidays. Some of then celebrate both, some are just learning about Hanukkah. It is a magical time of year, anyway you celebrate it.
By the time I leave church, my feet are so achy, and I don't feel so well. I am invited to a birthday party for one of my daycare children, but decide it will be best to go home and take a nap. Friday I am supposed to get my last folfox treatment, and I don't want to push myself and get sick. Instead I go home and take a long nap.
When I awaken, I still don't feel that well, and my sisters are coming over for dinner this evening. With much help from Ayla and Alex, we manage to get everything ready before they arrive. My sister Jill had a birthday just after Thanksgiving, so we are having a little party for her. She doesn't know, so it will be a surprise for her. Ayla makes one of my sister's favorite meals, mac and cheese with sausages and broccoli. For dessert, a cake from Pastiche of course! It is a delicious celebration.
After dinner we test out a game for the table on Christmas morning. It is called WhatchamaDraw it. There are cards with drawing cues on them, things like draw an animal that has a chicken head, a pineapple body and duck feet. You then have three minutes to draw. It is hysterical to see what each person comes up with. There is a competitive facet to the game, but we chose to enjoy each creation rather than be judged. We do challenge one person to figure out who has drawn what. This makes it very interesting.
While everyone is still playing, I go out driving with Allie. We need to get some night time driving in, and is not just dark, but also a little rainy.
When I get home, Steven and the kids are still playing the same game. It is sure to be a hit on Christmas.
Monday
Allie and I go to driving this evening. She takes me to Bed Bath and Beyond to do some Christmas shopping. She is very helpful in advising me about a gift I want to get for my sister Sara. Since we are in Seekonk, we decide to go to Target too. I am on a mission to find a hot water bottle for someone with cold feet. At both Bed Bath and Beyond and Target the sales people think I am talking about one of those sippy cups grownups carry tea or coffee around in. This is very amusing. Neither store has what I am looking for though.
Tuesday
We make paper Hanukkah menorahs today. They are made using rectangles of paper for the candles, pasted onto a backround which has a larger rectangle menorah. We keep one candle which has a paper flame on it stored on the back of the paper in a pocket with the flames for the other candles. This is the shammos candle, the one which is used to light all of the other candles. Each night, the children can light one more candle until they are all lit. This evening is the first night, so everyone will have a paper candle to light. We also play dreidel with chocolate gelt. This is so popular, even my two year olds figure out how to spin the top to play.
In the evening I have knitting, although I arrive late. I don't get much knitting done, but I do get to eat cookies! Linda has been baking and brought some in to share. Lonnie, Sarah and I make a good dent in the cookie supply. Someone has left some yarn for us today, a nice bag full. It has some good soft wool that will be perfect for items for our mitten tree, and some needles that will come in handy when we teach newbies how to knit.
Wednesday
I have a nine thirty appointment with Dr. Lentrichia today. He does the usual inspection of my belly, my bag and my stoma. Everything looks good. We talk about my chemo and how that is going. I tell him about my visit to the liver surgeon, my MRI, and my last visit with Dr. Safran back in October. It all seems so long ago.
He tells me he has had patients who have had great success with the folfox treatments. When things go very well with the treatments he tells me there is often nothing there to remove when he checks in on their colon. He thinks this may be the case with me. This is great news. I love that Dr. Lentrichia always takes time to sit down and understand what is going on with me. I appreciate his attention and sympathy to my situation.
I leave with an appointment for next month, and a big hug.
When I get home, I find that I an locked out. I have dropped Steven off downtown to cover a story, and forgot that I didn't take my keys on the way out. My feet are still feeling funny, so I sit in the car and clean out my handbag while I wait for Sara and Alex to return.
In the evening, Julia and I go shopping on Thayer St. I am still looking for that hot water bottle and am sure Pleasant Surprise is the place to find a cute one that looks like some kind of cute animal. I don't have any luck, but we do have a good time.
Martha gives me a bag with something wrapped in tissue paper. When I slowly unfurl the paper, I find a fine red felt fox. She is beautiful. Martha runs the Girl Effect sale, and saw her when she was ordering. She only ordered one, just for me. This is just the sweetest thing. I think I will name her Martha.
It is funny, because I looked at the felted animals that were available at the sale and thought that if there were a fox I just might have to get one. Martha is a foxy one!
We learn about Hanukkah in Sunday school today. We play dreidel and make some paper menorahs to help us celebrate when it begins on Tuesday. It is our last class before we break for two weeks, so we also make felt Christmas Trees. The children are all so excited about the holidays. Some of then celebrate both, some are just learning about Hanukkah. It is a magical time of year, anyway you celebrate it.
By the time I leave church, my feet are so achy, and I don't feel so well. I am invited to a birthday party for one of my daycare children, but decide it will be best to go home and take a nap. Friday I am supposed to get my last folfox treatment, and I don't want to push myself and get sick. Instead I go home and take a long nap.
When I awaken, I still don't feel that well, and my sisters are coming over for dinner this evening. With much help from Ayla and Alex, we manage to get everything ready before they arrive. My sister Jill had a birthday just after Thanksgiving, so we are having a little party for her. She doesn't know, so it will be a surprise for her. Ayla makes one of my sister's favorite meals, mac and cheese with sausages and broccoli. For dessert, a cake from Pastiche of course! It is a delicious celebration.
After dinner we test out a game for the table on Christmas morning. It is called WhatchamaDraw it. There are cards with drawing cues on them, things like draw an animal that has a chicken head, a pineapple body and duck feet. You then have three minutes to draw. It is hysterical to see what each person comes up with. There is a competitive facet to the game, but we chose to enjoy each creation rather than be judged. We do challenge one person to figure out who has drawn what. This makes it very interesting.
While everyone is still playing, I go out driving with Allie. We need to get some night time driving in, and is not just dark, but also a little rainy.
When I get home, Steven and the kids are still playing the same game. It is sure to be a hit on Christmas.
Monday
Allie and I go to driving this evening. She takes me to Bed Bath and Beyond to do some Christmas shopping. She is very helpful in advising me about a gift I want to get for my sister Sara. Since we are in Seekonk, we decide to go to Target too. I am on a mission to find a hot water bottle for someone with cold feet. At both Bed Bath and Beyond and Target the sales people think I am talking about one of those sippy cups grownups carry tea or coffee around in. This is very amusing. Neither store has what I am looking for though.
Tuesday
We make paper Hanukkah menorahs today. They are made using rectangles of paper for the candles, pasted onto a backround which has a larger rectangle menorah. We keep one candle which has a paper flame on it stored on the back of the paper in a pocket with the flames for the other candles. This is the shammos candle, the one which is used to light all of the other candles. Each night, the children can light one more candle until they are all lit. This evening is the first night, so everyone will have a paper candle to light. We also play dreidel with chocolate gelt. This is so popular, even my two year olds figure out how to spin the top to play.
In the evening I have knitting, although I arrive late. I don't get much knitting done, but I do get to eat cookies! Linda has been baking and brought some in to share. Lonnie, Sarah and I make a good dent in the cookie supply. Someone has left some yarn for us today, a nice bag full. It has some good soft wool that will be perfect for items for our mitten tree, and some needles that will come in handy when we teach newbies how to knit.
Wednesday
I have a nine thirty appointment with Dr. Lentrichia today. He does the usual inspection of my belly, my bag and my stoma. Everything looks good. We talk about my chemo and how that is going. I tell him about my visit to the liver surgeon, my MRI, and my last visit with Dr. Safran back in October. It all seems so long ago.
He tells me he has had patients who have had great success with the folfox treatments. When things go very well with the treatments he tells me there is often nothing there to remove when he checks in on their colon. He thinks this may be the case with me. This is great news. I love that Dr. Lentrichia always takes time to sit down and understand what is going on with me. I appreciate his attention and sympathy to my situation.
I leave with an appointment for next month, and a big hug.
When I get home, I find that I an locked out. I have dropped Steven off downtown to cover a story, and forgot that I didn't take my keys on the way out. My feet are still feeling funny, so I sit in the car and clean out my handbag while I wait for Sara and Alex to return.
In the evening, Julia and I go shopping on Thayer St. I am still looking for that hot water bottle and am sure Pleasant Surprise is the place to find a cute one that looks like some kind of cute animal. I don't have any luck, but we do have a good time.
Friday, December 26, 2014
Chemo # 11
Friday, December 5
My appointment is early this morning, eight o'clock. I am in and all hooked up by eight thirty. My white blood cell count is good this morning, in the fifteen hundreds, yay! The extra week off has been good for me.
Steven and I have walked in this morning and I am in a pensive mood, not in the mood for talking or listening.
Carolyn is my nurse today, and since I arrived so early, I get my choice of pods. They are expecting a busy day, so I am in the Mega Suite, where the rooms are larger than where I usually am. I choose the one in the corner, which has lots of light. It is like the penthouse suite of pods here, extra window and floor space. There are two visitor chairs here, and it is just big enough that I can't toss my trash into the basket from my lounge chair. This is something I usually have no problem with in the other pods.
I got up late this morning and barely had time to get everything ready before I left, never mind eat breakfast. It was a chilly walk over, so I am hoping there is hot chocolate mix and something breakfasty to eat in the snack area. Steven goes to see what is available, while Carolyn and I talk about holiday plans and how we are doing with our shopping and wrapping. There turns out to be nothing for me in snack land, nothing that would pass for breakfast.
Steve decides to go to Seven Stars and get me a hot chocolate, with whipped cream. He also surprises me with a pecan sticky bun and a chocolate croissant. I take the sticky bun and let him have the croissant.
It is a quite day for us at chemo, I knit, and Steven tells me what has been going on in the world of face book and on the internet.
I am not excited about lunch today. The thought of the food cart makes me feel a little nauseous. This is one of those conundrums where the solution to the problem also becomes the problem. I need to eat to keep the nausea away, thinking about the food I am offered to eat makes me feel nauseous. In the end, I get an egg salad sandwich, and eat it very slowly.
I have forgotten to bring my backpack which contains the pump I need for receiving my infusion over the next few days, as well as my psi bands. Steve goes home to get them for me while I am eat. By the time he returns, I have managed to eat my sandwich, but that is the best I can do. I put on my psi band and get ready for the chemo induced stupor to begin.
I am hooked up to my pump by quarter to two, which means I will finish getting my infusion by quarter to twelve on Sunday. This will be before I get done at church, so I should remember to call Sandy on Sunday morning.
This evening Allie is in a play called Harvey. I have been invited to see it with her mother and grandmother. Steve usually comes with me to her plays, but has a story to cover this evening, so I accept the invitation.
Allie has been telling me she doesn't have a big part in the play, but I have learned from past experience that our definition of importance of parts differs. It turns out she is on the stage for the whole first scene, part of the background action, but on the stage never the less. She is also in another entire scene, playing the doctor's wife, which may not be the lead role, but is certainly substantial. Her humbleness is so sweet.
I have never seen the movie this play is based on, but I enjoy it very much. I appreciate how quaintly dated it is, and how it is still relevant to today. It has been fun to watch it with Allie's grandmother, who is an avid theater goer, and hear her opinions about the performance. Along with Allie's mother, we discus things we liked and disliked about the play and how it was presented. In the end, we all agree it was well done. Our little fan club/theater discussion group has had as pleasant a night out as we would have had going to a well known theater.
My appointment is early this morning, eight o'clock. I am in and all hooked up by eight thirty. My white blood cell count is good this morning, in the fifteen hundreds, yay! The extra week off has been good for me.
Steven and I have walked in this morning and I am in a pensive mood, not in the mood for talking or listening.
Carolyn is my nurse today, and since I arrived so early, I get my choice of pods. They are expecting a busy day, so I am in the Mega Suite, where the rooms are larger than where I usually am. I choose the one in the corner, which has lots of light. It is like the penthouse suite of pods here, extra window and floor space. There are two visitor chairs here, and it is just big enough that I can't toss my trash into the basket from my lounge chair. This is something I usually have no problem with in the other pods.
I got up late this morning and barely had time to get everything ready before I left, never mind eat breakfast. It was a chilly walk over, so I am hoping there is hot chocolate mix and something breakfasty to eat in the snack area. Steven goes to see what is available, while Carolyn and I talk about holiday plans and how we are doing with our shopping and wrapping. There turns out to be nothing for me in snack land, nothing that would pass for breakfast.
Steve decides to go to Seven Stars and get me a hot chocolate, with whipped cream. He also surprises me with a pecan sticky bun and a chocolate croissant. I take the sticky bun and let him have the croissant.
It is a quite day for us at chemo, I knit, and Steven tells me what has been going on in the world of face book and on the internet.
I am not excited about lunch today. The thought of the food cart makes me feel a little nauseous. This is one of those conundrums where the solution to the problem also becomes the problem. I need to eat to keep the nausea away, thinking about the food I am offered to eat makes me feel nauseous. In the end, I get an egg salad sandwich, and eat it very slowly.
I have forgotten to bring my backpack which contains the pump I need for receiving my infusion over the next few days, as well as my psi bands. Steve goes home to get them for me while I am eat. By the time he returns, I have managed to eat my sandwich, but that is the best I can do. I put on my psi band and get ready for the chemo induced stupor to begin.
I am hooked up to my pump by quarter to two, which means I will finish getting my infusion by quarter to twelve on Sunday. This will be before I get done at church, so I should remember to call Sandy on Sunday morning.
This evening Allie is in a play called Harvey. I have been invited to see it with her mother and grandmother. Steve usually comes with me to her plays, but has a story to cover this evening, so I accept the invitation.
Allie has been telling me she doesn't have a big part in the play, but I have learned from past experience that our definition of importance of parts differs. It turns out she is on the stage for the whole first scene, part of the background action, but on the stage never the less. She is also in another entire scene, playing the doctor's wife, which may not be the lead role, but is certainly substantial. Her humbleness is so sweet.
I have never seen the movie this play is based on, but I enjoy it very much. I appreciate how quaintly dated it is, and how it is still relevant to today. It has been fun to watch it with Allie's grandmother, who is an avid theater goer, and hear her opinions about the performance. Along with Allie's mother, we discus things we liked and disliked about the play and how it was presented. In the end, we all agree it was well done. Our little fan club/theater discussion group has had as pleasant a night out as we would have had going to a well known theater.
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