Sunday, August 31

Wake up and get ready for church.

I check on childcare and everything is okay, so I go to the service.  After it is over, so many people who I haven't seen for the summer come over to say hello, with offers of help, food, company and rides.  I feel so well loved and cherished by my community.

When I get home, I clean a little while waiting for Sandy to come and unhook me from my chemo.  I start to get fuzzy brained as I wait.  My hands start to feel weak and I am getting nauseous.  I put on my psi bands to help alleviate the feeling.

After Sandy leaves, I make myself some soup for lunch and eat it slowly.  I have let myself get too hungry, and now it is hard to eat.

Steven and I bring Alex to Whole Foods for work, and pick up some groceries.  Steve drives, because I feel drunk.  When we get home, Steve puts the groceries away so I can take a nap.  We are going to bring some young friends to see Guardians Of the Galaxy. We have already seen it, but really want to share it with these friends whom we know will enjoy it.  Ayla, Chauncey and Allie are coming to see it with us too.

I sleep for an hour, and it takes the edge off of the dopiness.  As I sit in the movie theater, I can feel my brain returning to a clearer state.  It is so strange to be sitting doing something and slowly feel your brain return to you.

The kids really enjoy the movie, and it has been fun to see it with them.  I drop Steve and the kids at Gourmet House for some Asian food, and run over to visit my dad.  I only stay a short time, he seems very tired today.  I get back to the restaurant shortly after food has arrived, and have a good dinner.

I go home and get ready for bed, I am feeling very tired and my hands still feel weak.

Monday, September 1
Labor Day

We get up early and head to Horseneck Beach in Westport, MA.  We are meeting the Taylors, Ayla and Chauncey there.  It is a little cool and overcast, and we are some of the first people on the beach.

Saturday was Chauncey's birthday, so we celebrate today with an early morning pastry and bread party. It is lovely to be sitting in a big circle on the sand, with the waves crashing in the background, and the seagulls edging in on us for entertainment.  We sing Happy Birthday, eat and talk.  It is a lovely start to the day.

I have come to the beach hoping to go in the ocean.  Although the day is forecast to be very warm, it is not starting out that way.  It is overcast, the fog still burning off, and there is a cool breeze.  The moving air is making my fingers tingle.  The water temperature is pretty high, so the water does not bother me, but I am afraid that if I go in, my core temperature might drop down making difficult to get warm without the help of the sun.

Instead I sit or stand on the beach with my friends, enjoying the good food and company and delight in their enjoyment of the ocean.  I will look forward to a swim next summer.  We leave just as things on the beach start cooking.

After a nice shower to rinse off the sand and of course, change that bag, I go to visit Marcia.  She is a woman I know from church, and has told me she has something she thinks would be very helpful to me.  I can't imagine what it might be.  It turns out she has a problem keeping her hands warm, and is concerned about mine.  She has Raynaud's Syndrome which makes her hands very sensitive to cold, and has a good understanding of the difficulty I am having dealing with this problem.  She wants to give me a pair of fisherman's gloves she uses when washing fruits and vegetables.  Her husband had found them for her when she was first diagnosed, and they were a lifesaver for her. They are insulated and waterproof, and will allow me to get popsicles out of the freezer, milk from the fridge, and wash the table without getting cold fingers.    She measures my hand to order a pair for me, and lets me borrow hers until they come in.  This is such a lovely thing for her to do.  I am so touched by her concern and kindness.

Once I leave Marcia's house, I head over to Lippett Park, where Steven, Ayla, Chauncey and Powder are waiting for me to photograph our Cancergirl and Radioactive Man Comic.  We have a great time!

Later, as I am about to go visit my dad, Peggy stops by.  We sit on the steps and catch up.  Peggy is a friend I met at our knitting group, but she has been so busy lately, I don't get to see her much.  I am happy to spend these few minutes with her.  She has brought me a small, white, ceramic, origami peace crane with wishes for wellness.  It is delicate and beautiful.

When I get to the hospital, I find that my Dad has had a bad day.  He is frustrated that things are moving so slowly, and the long weekend has made things even slower. He doesn't understand why he can't get out of bed when he wants to, even though Sara and I have explained the reason to him many times.  He thinks he is fine.  Sara is trying to find out if he can have a shower this evening, and we are told he can't have one unless the doctor orders one for him. They sat they will try and get him one in the morning, before dialysis.

He is so tired, so Sara and I give him a kiss goodnight, and tell him to stay out of trouble.

I come home to find that Steven has finished our first comic.  It makes me laugh right out loud!