Friday, September 5, 2014

August 9, 2014

I am very excited to be going to Tony's house for a birthday celebration today.  It is a brunch, and I know there is going to be excellent food there.  I will be seeing his newish house for the first time.  Even though he has lived there for almost a year, I still haven't made it over.  Steven has been there many times, so I know it is going to be amazing.

I shower and get ready to go.  I am careful, and try to be extra mindful of how I put on my ostomy bag.  I am not sure why it didn't stay stuck yesterday, but I don't want a repeat of that today. 

Steve and I drive over, trying to be a little late, but still arrive right on time.  When we pull up, I already love the house.  It is a yellow victorian, with a porch, a dream house! 

The inside really is amazing.  It is full of cozy furniture, beautiful rugs and art that I love.  I find it is an unusual thing to walk into someone's house and love their art. It is such an individual expression from person to person you never know what will appeal to even your closest friends.  This art is all so beautiful and carefully chosen, with colors that appeal to me.  We have some kind of art connection going on.  After I get the house tour, I ask if I can come back sometime for the art tour.  I love to know how people come to have the art they have.  The stories are often very interesting.

I offer to help in the kitchen while guests start to gather.  This gives me the opportunity to get to know Tony's husband a little more than the occasional hello's we exchange at events we attend. 

Michael is an excellent cook, and right away assigns me to a task I am ill prepared for, peeling grapefruit.  I am terrible with citrus fruits!  He senses my lack of experience in this area and helps me out, instructing me in how to do it.  I start off well enough, but very quickly my hands start to tingle from the chilled fruit.  I manage to finish one, and end up running my fingers under warm water to make them stop zapping me.  It turns out the only help I can offer is to carry a few dishes out to the table. 

Once the food is out, everyone gathers around to fill their plates with gorgeous food set. It is every bit appealing to eat as it is to see.  While we are eating dessert, I am starting to feel an uneasiness about the seal of my bag.  There is this creeping sensation I have come to associate with a seal failure, and I am feeling it now.  It is the feeling of the adhesive slowly lifting off the skin of my belly, as solid waste starts to leach toward the edge of the wafer.  Sometimes this feeling turns out to be nothing, but other times, it is the start of something unpleasant.  I get up and start looking around the house at the art, wondering if this sensation is real or just in my head.  When I am away from the crowd, I peak, and find that I am indeed only centimeters away from leaking.

I have everything I need to change in my bag, but I can't bring myself to do it at someone else's house. We are only twenty minutes away from home, and even though our next destination is in the opposite direction I ask Steve if we can stop there first.  I know that if we were very far away I would have to deal with this where ever I might be, but this is not the case.  We drive home, and I change before heading out to Steve's family reunion.

The reunion is in Warwick, and because we went home so I could change, it is almost time for Alex to get out of work.  He wants to come to the reunion too, so I drop Steve and go to pick him up back in Providence.  It seems a little silly to be running back and forth like this, but I know I will not be able to stay very long, and this is Steven's opportunity to see family he hasn't seen in a while.  This is why I drop him and run back to Providence. 

On the way back to Warwick, Alex and I decide to stop and get some Del's.  This has become our annual contribution to the array of Rhode Island based foods we have at these reunions.  Many members of Steve's mother's family have moved out of the state, so it is fun to reacquaint them with these foods.  Once again we have an amazing meal, and get to catch up with family from near and far.

We don't stay too long, just long enough to get stuffed with delicious food, and celebrate the upcoming wedding of Steven's cousin Melissa.  I am feeling pretty tired at this point and need to go home. 

Ayla stops by home to check in, she had to work today so she couldn't make the reunion.  We sit at the table and talk and play HikuCubes, a game my sister in law Renee had given me at the reunion.

By the end of the day I am very tired, and feeling a little sad.  I wonder if this sadness could be a side effect from the chemo?

1 comment:

  1. I'm sending good wishes and love. It will get better with the ostomy bag. If you don't have an ostomy nurse ask for a referral, because they specialize and have the best info. I worked with one who had an ostomy herself as a child.