I think I will not wake at four this morning, since there was a party somewhere on our street that went on until after twelve this morning. I couldn't stop listening to the way the voices would rise and fall in the most melodious pattern. There were so many layers of sound it was amazing, and it was all made of voices. It just went on so long. When it finally stopped, I quickly fell asleep.
I did wake at four, and stayed in bed trying to fall back to sleep, but couldn't. Finally I decide to get up and exercise. I haven't done this since my father passed away, and I need to keep strong to continue recovering well. I do some floor exercises and dress warmly to go for a bike ride, only to open the back door to find it raining. I contemplate going anyway, and remember I won't be able to jump in the shower if I get cold, so decide against it. I am Elphaba once again, afraid of the rain.
Anna picks me up to go to the grocery store and listens to my good news and so good news from the doctors visit yesterday. I tell her I have decided I will focus on being in the minority of people who don't have a recurrence of cancer. My goal is to try and make it until 90 in good shape. My great grandmother make it into her nineties, so I know I have it in me. I know that this is not necessarily a choice I get to make, but I can try for it anyway. I want to be around for my kids, and their kids, and to see the little ones I have helped to raise grow to be adults too. Wasting time with cancer is not really on my schedule. Not that anyone chooses to be in this club, but I don't have to sit around and feel sorry for myself, and miss out on life.
Sunday October 12
Today was such a busy day.
I arrive at church around eight, to meet about the task force I am working on. I know I need to be home shortly after church is over to get unhooked and I am counting on Sandy coming over later, rather than earlier. The actual time I should get unhooked is eleven thirty, and I will still be in Sunday school.
We are working on symbols of our faith today, and the kids are all busy painting their chalices. We make them out of an overturned flowerpot and a saucer. It involves painting and gluing, and a lot of cleanup. I get a call at eleven thirty sharp, there is a visiting nurse at my house to unhook me, it is not my usual nurse Sandy, but a new one named Summer. I call her back and tell her I am at church with no quick way home. She offers to come and pick me up and bring me to my house, but once she gets to the church, it is clear that she is embarrassed that her car is not clean. It doesn't to me, but I can tell it really bothers her. I suggest she unhook me at church and we find a quiet spot where she unhooks me very quickly. Now I can return to my room and help with the clean up! Dena gives me a ride home.
After church, Steven and I have been invited to a birthday party not far from our house. It is for one of my former babies who is turning eight! We walk over and have a very pleasant visit until I start to hit that tiredness wall. After a little drunken conversation, we head home, and I end up taking a three hour nap.
When I wake up, I am crazy hungry, and want food quickly. Specifically, I want soup. Steve goes to the Gourmet House and gets some hot and sour soup, which is a little too spicy for my tongue, but feels good in my stomach.
Steve and I snuggle on the couch after that and watch the Simpsons and Brooklyn 99, a fairly new comedy with Andy Samberg. My kids like this show and highly recommended it. It is just the kind of entertaining, funny and mindless television I need at the moment. We haven't done this in a while, and it feels nice to veg out and be close.
We spend some time talking about my doctors visit on Friday, how it was really good news, and how well I am doing with this treatment. I am lucky to have such a positive and supportive partner and friend in life.
It has been a lovely full day, and even though I had that long nap, I am tired by ten and asleep shortly after.