Sunday, August 3, 2014

I get up and get ready for church.  I am planning on going to the service, but up in childcare, there are seven children today, three regulars and four who are visiting from other states.  I already know that the regulars want to paint bowls with the leftover materials from the GA, so I decide to stay and help.

There are two young women who have gone through the religious education program in our church who are the regular child care providers this summer.  One is a senior in high school and the other is in college.  It is so cool to have seen these young people grow up in these classrooms, taking care of the young children now.  They are kind and patient and enjoy playing with and talking to the kids. It makes my heart happy to watch them.

I go outside when church is over, to see who is at coffee hour.  There are a lot of people there, and I am not really up to socializing.  I go out the atrium door to find Steven who is waiting to bring me home.

This is my last day on the chemo pump, so I need to get home and wait for the nurse to come unhook me.  So far, aside from feeling a little tired, and the rumblings of nausea, I haven't had too many side effects.  The Psi bands have helped quell the nausea, and occasional naps help the tiredness.  I still feel tingles when I touch anything cold, but I have been trying to be better about remembering to put on my gloves.   My eyes have been running, and at first I think it might be from allergies.  I look up the list of side effects and find that this is a rare side effect.  With the last treatment my eyes got a golden hue beneath them, today by the end of the day, my left eye looks like someone has punched me.  I am wondering how it will look tomorrow.

Today it is overcast and cool, and I am really feeling the effects of the neuropathy.  Suddenly metal gives me finger tingles.  I was warned to be careful in the colder weather, I didn't expect August to be a month where I would have to worry about this so much.

I have had to start thinking about wet and cold in very different terms, and have had to start thinking about things that most people give little thought to.  When I went to get a pitcher of water for the kids in childcare this morning, I couldn't test the water to see if it was cold.  I decided to skip putting ice in the water since I didn't have my gloves with me, and there was no one available to get it for me. 

When I went to rinse the paint brushes after painting, the water was cool.  I was careful not to get it on my hands until it finally warmed up.  Then I could finally wash off the paint that was on them.

If I wear my gloves, I have to be careful not to get them wet.  If I go to the bathroom, I have to wait for the warm water to come up before I can wash my hands. I can't even garden today because the dampness quickly penetrates my gloves.  All of this extra thinking is exhausting.