Fingers are still tingling this morning and my left eye is dark underneath, but getting lighter.
I go with Steven to a doctor's appointment today. He needs to get his blood pressure checked. It seems he has white coat syndrome, which causes his blood pressure to rise at the doctor's office. Even the mention of a trip to the doctor's office makes him visibly nervous. He finds out that his father has this same problem and needs to get his blood pressure checked someplace away from the doctor's office.
At knitting this evening, one of our friends may be coming fresh off of an MRI and will be feeling a little relaxed from the medication she needs to take to deal with it. I just came off of my chemo on Sunday, and an still a little dopey. We decide that we will do some kind of crazy drugged up knitting to celebrate.
A few of us bring some funky eyelash yarn we have in our stashes from when it was so popular. We have some bright colors from a stash that was donated to us, probably dating back to the seventy's or so. We decide to yarn bomb one of the lamp posts in front of the church on Benefit St., but you didn't read this here! Technically this is a form of public art, and can be considered graffiti. We are such an edgy group!
We are off to a good start, with some large pieces that came with the donated yarn stash. Our pieces work up quickly, but they don't get stitched together tonight. We will install our piece next week.
On the way home, I get a ride with a friend who struggled with cancer some years ago. We talked about different treatments and the reactions of people as they have them. Some tell very few people about what they are going through, others have no problem sharing.
Keeping everything in seems so isolating to me. I don't know if I would have felt this way when I was younger, and there are things I wouldn't share online with everyone. But health seem so universal, something we all worry about. We should talk about it more. It helps to get it out there so people know why you are wearing gloves in the middle of the summer, or why you are so bossy to people who are with you at the grocery store. It leads to understanding and compassion. It seems like the most human of things to share.
Having this conversation helps me to realize that not only am I going through chemo, but I am also at some point heading for an operation or two that I need to be strong for. I need to make sure I am building my strength to get through this upcoming conclusion to my treatment. I haven't really thought about the ending before. If this is not incentive to eat well, exercise, and continue to gain weight, I do not know what else is.